Lessons Learned

It’s that time of year again when we say goodbye to the friends we’ve made in Korea and welcome the new intake of teachers, and in about 3 weeks it’ll be time for me to depart as well.  It’s crazy how fast two years abroad can go, especially when I think back to how overwhelmed I was when I first came here. Just the sheer thought of making it through one week of teaching was enough to set me into a panic back then.

Nevertheless, I made it through relatively unscathed (except for my chin #shredgnar), and I’m quite satisfied with my time spent here.  I reached a conversational level in Korean, went on plenty of hikes, discovered a love of ultimate frisbee, and met some truly stellar people.

Indeed, my time in Korea has taught me many things.  So, in an effort to distill some of those down and store them for future use, I’ve compiled a little list of lessons learned.  Without further ado, here they are:

1.  Utilize Your Time

I’ve come to the realization that having loads of free time can either be a blessing or a curse, depending on what you do with it.  Spend it on mindless consumption and you’ll feel a sense of purposelessness. Dedicate it to acquiring some kind of skill and you’ll feel fantastic.  If you defined yourself based solely on what you do during your free time, would you be satisfied with that person?

I know I’ve touched on this point before in a previous post or two, but it’s something that really helped me get through some of the tougher stretches in Korea, especially on lonely weeknights.  Spending my after-school time on productive activities really helped me stay positive.

2.  Explore Your own Backyard

It’s funny when I meet people abroad who’ve traveled to the U.S.  Oftentimes they’ve visited more places than I have. On the other hand I’ve probably hiked more mountains in Korea than a lot of Koreans I’ve met.  When it’s your own home getting out and exploring just seems to have much less appeal, but there’s a certain joy to be had in being a tourist in your own neighborhood.  Because of it’s easy access to mountains, beaches and bike trails, going for a ride into a previously unknown area of Ulsan quickly became one of my favorite weekend activities.

3.  Community is Everything

As I’ve mentioned in my ultimate frisbee post, the community your surround yourself has such an impact on your experience, whatever it is that you’re doing.  I was quite fortunate in finding such a solid group of people through ultimate, without whom my Korea experience likely would have been drastically different.  Positive people beget positive people.

4.  Stay Curious

Living abroad is exciting!  Everything is unique and new! ...for a little while.  When moving someplace new you’ll eventually reach a point where you’re more or less settled.  You know how to get around, where to shop, what to do on the weekends, who your friends are, etc.  I feel like I hit that point around the 6-month mark here. After that point life here can become less of an adventure and more of just another job.  I also think this is why the second or third year abroad can become a low point for some EFL teachers abroad.

If you stay curious, though your new home can still remain unique and ever-changing. For me, this meant joining a higher level frisbee league and doubling down on my Korean study during my second year, as well as hiking some further out mountains. There’s far too much out there to ever stop learning or trying new things.

So there you have it, my time here distilled down to 4 little lessons.  Of course there’s more, but some things remain hard to put into writing.  I know I’ll always be grateful for the time spent here and the many life lessons that came with it.

I remember my professor from my Hospitality Management capstone class explaining his early post-college years to us.  He mentioned how he changed his location about every two years for a while because it just seemed to be the right amount of time spent in one place.

It’s been a spectacular two years, Korea.  Thanks.

작년과 재작년 너무 좋아서 감사합니다, 한국.  훗날에 다시 만나야 지!

-라이언

On Making Friends

Making friends with someone from another country is never easy. It takes time and effort, often with lots of awkwardness sprinkled in between – something I think many of us (both Korean and foreign) don’t fully realize at the outset. I should know; I’ve been going to a language exchange every week for almost two years now and still have very few Korean friends.

However, going to language exchange is for many Koreans and foreigners a primary way to meet each other and make friends. It was one of the reasons I started going in the first place as well. But the thing is, meeting someone from another culture means coming into contact with different value systems. That may seem a bit like stating the obvious (after all, that is one of the reasons we all came to teach in Korea, right?) but it’s something all too often underestimated, especially at these language exchanges.

When people don’t necessarily share the same values, almost nothing can be taken for granted. The reason we get along so well with close friends is because there’s so much we can take for granted in the relationship. We already know what constitutes fun between us and what doesn’t. Conversations don’t require much context because we already know most of it through our shared values and experiences.

None of that is there when you communicate someone from a different culture or sub-culture from your own, at least initially. That’s why so much of the conversation at language exchange tends to be on mundane topics. Anything beyond that tends to require common values and experiences.

That’s not to say that genuine cross-cultural friendships can’t develop, however. With persistence and effort it is possible to build a close relationship through creating new shared experiences and mutually recognizing where value systems differ. Indeed, through the shared experience of Ultimate Frisbee I’ve become close with people from many different nationalities through a simple sport. Our values might not necessarily align, and I’m sure ultimate doesn’t even mean the same thing to everyone who plays it, but it certainly does act as a medium through which cross-cultural friendships can develop.

The only problem with language exchange is that there isn’t necessarily that medium there to build friendships with. It’s just sitting across from a stranger or acquaintance with a cup of coffee. It’s still possible to build cross-cultural friendships, but it’s going to take considerably more effort since there’s no common ground to begin with.

Something to keep in mind if you find yourself frustrated with always talking about weekend plans and hobbies at language exchange.

Merry Christmas!

As the year winds to end it’s tough to not feel at least a little blue.  The week from Christmas to New Year’s is always a special one back home for me, as I’m sure it is for many other English teachers abroad.  I honestly prefer going to work during this week over here because it keeps my mind focused on something else besides missing family.

Nevertheless, as much as I do miss my family back home, I realized today how much I’m going to miss my school over here.  In addition to being wished Merry Christmas at least one hundred times today, a couple of students wrote me a nice card, my co-teacher gave me a Christmas present, and a couple of other students even made personalized macarons for me!  Needless to say, I was feeling the love when I left work today.

Days like today (which arguably should have been at least a little melancholy) remind me of how lucky I am to be an English teacher in South Korea.  My coworkers and students regularly make me laugh and treat me as a part of their community so that even thousands of miles away from family on Christmas, this man-bunned mustached hipster still feels at home.  Indeed, Korea has given me much more than I can repay through simply teaching English.

Living abroad is full of rewards and challenges, and today was definitely a little bit of both!

메리 크리스마스!

An Ode to Ultimate

Last weekend was likely my last ultimate frisbee tournament in Korea.  I won’t be leaving here for a few more months, but I’ll be gone by the time spring season starts up again, and I already know that ultimate will be one of the things (if not THE thing) I’ll miss most from my time here.

My very first day in Korea was also my very first ultimate frisbee weekend, and it really set the tone for my time here.  Ultimate gave me most of my friends here, provided me with great excuses to travel to various regions within Korea, and gave me something to work and improve on during my time here.

But most importantly, ultimate Frisbee in Korea taught me the value of community.

Simply put, the ultimate frisbee community here is stellar.  It’s inclusive and encouraging, and pushes everyone to be their best self.  It’s the reason I’d wake up at 7:00AM on a Saturday and not home until 7:00PM on a Sunday for consecutive weekends.

Along with all the flat-ball catching, flunkyballing, sauna-ing, all you can eat BBQ-ing, it’s the meeting and sharing stories with ultimate people that I love most.  Everyone has a story, and when you spend the better part of two days with ultimate people, you learn lots about each other – which only brings you that much closer.

Korean ultimate Frisbee is truly something unique, and I’m extremely grateful for all the people who make it what it is.  I can only hope that the community where I play it next is half as good as it is here!

…and if you ever find yourself in Korea, give ultimate a try!

(Not) Counting Down the Days

As I continue to work through my last semester of teaching English in Korea, I begin to face an all too familiar problem; counting down the days.  It’s something I caught myself doing while in India, and by the time my departure came around my mind had already been in Michigan for weeks.

I’m determined to not let myself do that again.

Once you start counting down the days, you start actively divesting from living in the present moment.  Your body might be in one place, but your mind is on another continent already…and it shows.

I suppose it’s only natural to some extent, however.  There are still some things that surprise me in Korea, but by and large my job and my routine are certainly not the exhilarating experiences they once were.  At the same time, I’m not that naïve to think that I deserve to be wowed and amazed every day over here, either.

And so, I find myself increasingly spending my time planning and re-planning my next move after Korea during my free time.  It’s certainly a slippery slope, though.  If I spend too much time thinking about what’s next I end up despising where I’m at.

I guess (like all things) it’s about striking a balance.  Don’t let yourself get complacent where you’re at, but don’t seek improvement/progress at the expense of mindfulness.  As a good friend in Germany once told me Alles in Maßen.

So, here’s to not counting down my days here!  Korea’s an amazing place and I’ve still got a lot to learn from it! (and you, should you find yourself in a similar situation!)

다음에 봐,

소왕